Should separated fathers not have their children to stay?

Psychologist Penelope Leach says children of separated parents should never spend a night away from mother. Here, a parenting guru and panel of fathers take issue

A father’s touch: Tim Lott, above, with his daughters Lydia, eight, and Esme, three 

By Sheila Kitzinger

18 Jun 2014

SHEILA KITZINGER: NO MOTHER IS PERFECT
 

There are so many different types of family – from close knit, to extended, even polygamous like Mormons – and so many different practical and emotional reasons why a family may break up, that it is very difficult to lay down hard rules when it comes to parenting. 

So it’s not surprising that many fathers are upset this week after reading that psychologist Penelope Leach thinks no father, whatever the circumstances, should be allowed to host his own child overnight if a marriage breaks down and he has left the family home. Leach is said to have suggested that taking a child away from the mother for even one night before the age of four can damage their emotional development. 

But this is a gross over-simplification. We need to have much more insight into why couples are living separately before we judge where a child is safest and happiest. Did the marriage break down through sexual violence or because of a new partner? A woman could be genuinely fearful of her child going to spend the night at the home of his or her father – if he is known to be violent or controlling. And even where this is not the case, some men may not have much confidence and insist on imposing ''tough’’ male values on their children. 

On the other hand, no mother is perfect, and some of us are more imperfect than others – some fathers may be preferable to mothers who are emotionally controlling.

Source:-  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/fatherhood/10906093/Should-separated-fathers-not-have-their-children-to-stay.html